5.7: Time-Flight

In which the season runs out of money and ideas roughly 20 minutes in.

Broadcast: March 1982

Watched: December 2020

Time Flight, Part One

“Aren’t you forgetting something rather important? Adric is dead.” Thanks for the recap, Tegan. Although I could have sworn his guest appearance came in this one to disguise the fact he’d been written out, and was waiting for someone to hallucinate him, but... nope. Tegan’s right, of course, the show really hasn’t sold us on why the Doctor can’t just nip in and get him, but there we are.

Anyway. This is one of those bad stories with a surprisingly fun episode one isn’t it? The idea that for the season finale we’re going to see CONCORDE VANISH is quite cool. I like that it closes the circle, of finally getting Tegan back to Heathrow at a point she doesn’t want to go. The Doctor’s look of shock when he realises where they are is hilarious. “Doctor, you’ve done it again.” He’s finally done something badly enough to annoy Nyssa.

But ...the problem is, the money’s run out. The disappearing concorde effect is really rubbish. The prehistoric landscape and the monsters are worse. At least Ainley’s having a good time.

But it’s fun enough. The Doctor climbing into the TARDIS laying on its side and then turning it the right way up is lovely. I like that he gets out of trouble by calling UNIT, like he’s in season 13 – even if I wonder how much of the audience would understand that reference. [To be fair, there had recently been a repeat season including The Three Doctors.] Also, it seems to entirely contradict the “destroy the sonic screwdriver, it makes it too easy to get out of trouble” thing from three stories earlier.

Other thoughts: I like that this is a conceptual sequel to The Faceless Ones. They should have completed the trilogy by doing one set behind the EasyJet desks at Stansted.

This is the fourth story running in which the Doctor suggests getting out of trouble by inviting randoms into the TARDIS. It’s also the second in which a vehicle that shouldn’t time travel does.

The first officer, confusingly, is Michael Cashman from the House of Lords.

I am not completely dreading episodes 2-4.

Time Flight, Part Two

Yes, that really is quite the step down from episode 1, isn’t it? Just boring. Took me nearly an hour to get through it as I started doing a big online shop half way through. Oh well, if nothing else from this I have learned how to spell “Time-Flight”.

Anyway, what this episode reminds me of is one of the shitter Pertwees. The sceptical academic, the collaboration with uniformed authorities, all the mystical wank about dead civilisations... Even Khalid’s (let’s face it, massively racist) disguise feels like it belongs in Colony or Mutants or something.

But it looks *so* low budget. The monsters are rubbish. The backdrops are obviously painted. There’s no action, everyone just stands around. The bit where the captain pretends he’s losing control of his mind is *awful*. The parade of visions should be nightmarish, but it’s not, it’s just a load of unconvincing and static costumes.

Oh of course there were two episodes a week so Adric being in episode 2 meant he could still be in the Radio Times listings. Funny how the season starts and ends with imaginary Adrics.

Have the effects of Nyssa being trapped in some kind of bubble wrap been redone?

Oooh it’s the Master I am shocked and stunned.

I am now dreading episodes 3 & 4. 

Time Flight, Part Three

Okay, I’m calling it. Episode 1 was good. Episode 2 was boring. Episode 3 is where it becomes a truly terrible Doctor Who story.

“They’re supposed to have lived on the planet Xeraphas, before it was devastated by crossfire in the Vardon-Kosnax war”... I was tempted to just write “f*ck off” here, but this does actually highlight the problem with the entire script. “Somebody is stealing concorde!” is a really interesting idea. This wank about long dead races with names with lots of X-es in them is really not.

The twist that the Doctor has totally misread the situation would be a lot more shocking if it was in any way clear what had been going on. There’s a load of stuff about “psychotropics” and an entire race contained in one body... What does any of it mean? What’s it for? It is telling that black Xeraphin and white Xeraphin are exactly the same bloody colour Xeraphins.

Incidentally, I realised watching this one that I’d missed a chunk of plot in episode 2 because my mind had just slid off it. I went back for it and wish I hadn’t.

“So, you escaped from Castrovalva.” Thanks for the explanation there.

“What is it?” “A chicken maybe? Not a f*cking clue, it’s a really bad special effect.”

Oh, the Master’s run off with the TARDIS – the “repeatedly inviting people on trips” thing almost looks like a theme now.

“Focus your mind on something you’re very sure of. Your family! Fish and chips!” Oh bugger off.

I was going to finish this story tonight but lol no way am I watching another one.

Time Flight, Part Four

“I thought I saw Victor Foxtrot shimmer. Must be imagining things. Must be imagining things.” The budget is so f*cked it can’t even run to a shimmer effect. When concorde dematerialises, the before and after shots show entirely different skies. It’s shockingly sh*t.

Anyway, this is better than the last two, which leads me to suspect that you can paper over a lot of rubbish Doctor Who providing there’s enough running around. So long as there’s a sense of something happening, it feels vaguely watchable. If it’s just static – such as the over-long scene in which the captain confesses to having tampered with the TARDIS, *while the Master stands there in silence waving a gun around* – it’s incredibly dull.

I feel there’s an obvious joke in the fact the Master is using *concorde passengers* – i.e. the rich and powerful elite – as a slave class, which the writer hasn’t even noticed is there.

The bit where it momentarily looks like a commercial airline pilot can fly the TARDIS is weirdly bathetic. The fact it turns out to be the ghost of a character who died in episode 3 – who doesn’t get a line, and doesn’t appear again – is a bit weird. I’m also quite thrown by the Logopolis call back during all the stuff about TARDISes materialising around each other. Would people remember it that well?

That said, I quite like that Tegan finally gets to be an air hostess – it feels oddly like closing a circle. The TARDIS going without her is a slightly rubbish cliffhanger: it happens so fast, there’s no attempt to sell it as an actual companion departure.

Anyway, thank god that’s over.