3.14: The Time Monster
In which the Master does some paperwork, and Benton gets naked. Oh, yeah, something about Atlantis too, I guess.
Broadcast: May-June 1972
Watched: April 2020
The Time Monster, Episode One
“In a dream. Not half an hour ago!” Starting with the Doctor’s dream is an interesting conceit. Especially since he’s dreaming the opening sequence from Inferno.
Absolutely adore the Doctor’s “thank you, I enjoyed that” about the tea he hasn’t touched, and cutting to the Master embedded in his new role as Professor Thascalos. Also, Jo and Mike standing around saying they’re bored because they haven’t been in a Doctor Who story for a while. And this week’s random minister mocking the name “TOMTIT”. There’s quite a lot here that’s almost witty.
That said, oh god the “making fun of women’s lib” bollocks.
Benton back to being the butt of the joke again, I see.
This must be the only time in the entire series in which we see the Master getting on with all the paperwork involved in being an intergalactic megalomaniac.
The fact a random window cleaner is so shocked by TOMTIT that he falls off his ladder is a bit dark. The way the Master has to avoid detection by skipping dinner and then showing up in a HASMAT suit is hilarious.
The closing moments, with the Doctor and Jo on Bessie rushing towards the Master in the middle of nowhere, trying to summon a super being, made me realise this is basically The Daemons, Episode One only this time as farce. And the Time detector is definitely shaped like a cock and balls.
The Time Monster, Episode Two
Love the way the Master just fucks off to have a drink and do some more paperwork. Actually, this story keeps cutting to the Master doing paperwork, doesn’t it? I love the suggestion that he's mind controlled his way into a senior academic post but the joke's on him because now he's constantly drowning in marking and the REF. Also he’s wearing a wedding ring? Ha! He’s calling himself Master in Greek, this story really is the comedy version of The Daemons.
The sequence in which the Doctor and the Master take it in turn to explain the plot to underlings is nicely done, highlighting the parallels between the characters.
What happens to Stu is really horrible and everyone just moves straight past it. [A post-doc researcher in his 20s accidentally gets accelerated into old age. It is possible I was disproportionately traumatised by this turn of events because, at the time I watched this story, I was aged 39 and a half.]
Love the Brig ordering some anti-tank guns, just in case.
“Well it’s been a bit lonely. But that’s all.” Benton sums up his entire role in the series. The Doctor sending him to pick up the crystal even though he’s shitting himself about what happened to Stuart is telling and harsh. Oh! And he sees through the Master’s tricks. Good for him.
The cut to Atlantis, which happens about two episodes earlier than I expected, is absolutely mental. And I LOVE the sequences of ultra fast Bessie, which visibly traumatises Jo, a fact the Doctor just ignores.
Anyway. I’m enjoying this. Is it going to go totally off the rails or is it one fans of a certain age don’t like because it’s silly? [It is, to be clear, extraordinarily silly.]
The Time Monster, Episode Three
“Try not to be too bitter, Stu.” That’s charming, that is. Oh! He’s young again: 25 year olds were older in 1972 weren’t they?
The thought occurs that Benton only gets anything cool to do in scripts Letts co-wrote and that, as he knew Levene personally, this was probably not a coincidence.
So, Kronos is a flood lit dancer in a bird costume, huh? I’m a bit worried the Atlantis sequences don’t have quite enough winks at the audience to not be unbearable. Oh good, they’ve got a minotaur. Anyway, the sequence with the Doctor’s ridiculous homemade contraption is fun because the show is quite obviously taking the piss out of itself (which, I suspect, is one reason fans hate this one) – but then the Atlantis stuff seems sincere.
“This is no kind of a joke, it’s deadly serious.” Is it though.
Oh right a knight has appeared obviously.
“You HAVE been drinking.” This one really would have benefited from a tone meeting wouldn’t it? Although the fact there’s a cliffhanger which is “Can Mike Yates [and some extras though we don’t care about them] survive the doodlebug” and fandom retains no memory of it whatsoever is mildly interesting.
The Time Monster, Episode Four
“Well I must say I rather enjoyed that.” The Yokel standing around saying what’s happened here then about the bomb I hilarious.
Decor in the Master’s TARDIS is cool. Oh the Doctor’s done it, too.
That is definitely a cock and balls.
Oh TARDIS inside TARDIS. Letts nicked this for Logopolis didn’t he.
The Master actually looks scared of Benton! First time for everything.
“I’m sorry about your coccyx too, Miss Grant,” is a hilarious line, sorry. [Some friends of mine listed it as a low point in their episode guide Who’s Next.] As is the Master muting the Doctor because he’s bored. And baby Benton! And the backwards talking! This is entirely ridiculous but it isn’t boring. And Delgado is always worth watching.
The Time Monster, Episode Five
“I see. Any god in particular?”
This story is f***ing mental. The Doctor lost in the vortex! The TARDIS conveying his thoughts! The sinister whispers of his subconscious! Then Jo pulls a lever, he’s back, and we’re in a camp costume drama in Atlantis with Ingrid Pitt’s tits. (Her flirting with the Master is weird.) And the Master in academia and baby Benton and Mike Yates being attacked by a doodlebug.
What were they *trying* to do? It’s too self consciously silly to be an epic finale type thing. It seems to be gleefully throwing every dramatic unity out of the window: story, tone and theme are all over the place. It’s quite entertaining in its way, but I can’t work out the intention at all.
The tame priest is absolutely useless. Just standing there looking gormlessly at the Master the whole time.
I love Delgado’s “shocked and embarrassed to see the Doctor” face, last spotted in Colony in Space. His flirting is... uncomfortable.
Oh and now there’s a minotaur. Of course. Of course.
The Time Monster, Episode Six
“No, you’re the one who’s finished!”
And now Pertwee is bullfighting with the minotaur. And two scenes later we get the “daisyest daisy” bit and our first ever (?) emotional story from the Doctor’s childhood. This is genuinely the most mental serial yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PsgcvIlSeU
I sort of love that there’s literally about eight seconds between the Master winning and Atlantis falling, there’s not even a single scene in which his plan doesn’t look stupid.
How the f**k does Jo know what a time ram is? How does the Doctor appear on the Master’s scanner? The Master basically goading the Doctor into killing him is like a weird abusive relationship.
Okay the fall of Atlantis is rubbish and this final confrontation is actually really quite bad. Camp as tits and without any obvious awareness of the fact.
Why Jo believes herself to be dead is not massively clear. Nice that she got to save the universe when the Doctor lacked the nerve though.
Delgado is uncharacteristically rubbish when begging pathetically for the Doctor’s help.
The cut to the grad students feeding baby Benton is hilarious. Remarkably unclear how they get him back to normal.
And then, it ends with Benton stark bollock naked while everyone laughs at him. And that’s the last scene of the season. See you next year!!!
The Time Monster grows on you, I think. Certainly viewed in sequence after The Mutants, and after sixteen weeks without UNIT it feels like a return to both form and format? Even if it probably isn't. The sheer lunacy of the amount of stuff it throws in helps too. The last time I watched this was on my phone on the Britbox app, while a toddler slept on my shoulder and I was grinning throughout. The sexist / feminist 'banter' always feels a bit more nuanced to me than is often said, partially because Stuart is played as (and by a gay) man, partially because of the obvious affection between the two characters, and partially because Ruth is both his superior and so clearly super competent. Which is more than can be said for the production, particularly of the Atlantis sections. One odd thing about the story (of many) is that Dr Who's TARDIS seems to be working perfectly. Which always makes me think that, should you ever repeat / rewatch the Pertwee era in its entirety, it might be worth moving this one to after Planet of the Daleks, to give Delgado something closer to the finale he deserved.