13.22: Revolution of the Daleks

In which not one but two actors the show can never use again play someone named Jack.

Broadcast: January 2021

Watched: August 2022

“All that time in a cell wondering who I am... I’m the Doctor. I’m the one who stops the Daleks.”

Then again: “You’re getting much too excited about a bunch of 3d printed shapes.”

The Best of the Daleks. Contains elements nicked from Power, Revelation, Parting... It’s the Best of Chibnall, too, and feels like the perfect summation of The Worst Showrunner at his best, as it’s actually quite good (decent jokes, great conceit, loads of fun) but ultimately adds up to the square root of f*ck all.

This may be why I stopped to go out halfway through, and forgot for eight whole days to finish it. 

It is very consciously a sequel to Resolution, literally happening because of a loose end: the British state hires someone to get rid of a dead Dalek, someone from a different bit of the British state kills them and nicks it. Cool. The idea of the state using a Dalek as security is very funny too... This being Chibnall, we don’t get enough of it, but it’s funny. There are lot of satirical bits (“This is why people don’t like experts”) that really feel like they should have come years earlier, but no one was making episodes quickly enough.

The prison bit is fun, with lots of nice jokes about aliens, but of course it doesn’t go anywhere. Also, it’s fundamentally wrong that a) the Doctor just puts up with this and b) needs Jack to get her out. Chibnall, like Eric Saward before him, doesn’t believe in the character.

In the other plot... The Doctor sort of talks to Ryan! That’s nice. He’s actually quite good, telling her he needs to move on and she should find out the truth about her background... which maybe suggests Chibnall did want to tell the Fugitive story? They’re still definitely playing her as the neurodiverse Doctor though. Also lol that Graham and Robertson just disappear for that scene. 

I do like Ryan’s just deciding he’s done. You wouldn’t do it every time, but this time it works. And Graham going because he wants to stay with his only family feels right, too. Ditto the fact Ryan still can’t ride that f*cking bike, but keeps trying. Also, how exactly are they travelling to Korea or Finland to check weird alien stuff out?

Other things:

• There are some funny lines: “They’re calling you the American Mike Ashley.” “It’s the security equivalent of the iPhone.” “This is a PR disaster.” 

• Harriet Walter was clearly meant to be Theresa May, right? Except: “As your new Prime Minister, I can see great opportunities ahead for this country. We here in Britain, we’ve never been afraid of the future, but I do understand that what we all crave right now is security.” F*cking hell she’s Liz Truss. 

• The Doctor starts reciting Harry Potter for herself.

• Chris Noth and Barrowman in the same episode, and both called Jack, mean this can sadly never be repeated. Also the latter’s in the credits... oh :(

• Jack tells Yaz: “Being with the Doctor, you don’t get to choose when it stops. Whether you leave her or... she leaves you.” Hmmm. Talking of which:

DOCTOR: You’re gonna have to trust me on this, Yaz. When have I ever let you down before? I won’t disappear again.

(Tardis is in flight.)

YASMIN: Yeah, you will. One day, you will.

Hmmm.

• Also, Jack vanishes off screen with a voiceover because... because Chibnall’s no good at this? The bad stuff had come out? Why?

• He also talks about the events that led him to leave Doctor Who 15 and a half years earlier. Translate that into old series time for “f*ck, we’re all old” hilarity.

• I know it’s foolish to expect better, but how does Ryan know what to do once they’re on board the Dalek ship? There’s literally no time for anyone to explain to to him

• Quite like Robertson being such a bastard and getting to live. Shame we’ll never see him again because Noth is bad.