13.13: Spyfall, Part Two

In which Chris Chibnall is terrible at writing.

Broadcast: January 2020

Watched: July 2022

“Modern defence – a grenade, for the home!”

To say this doesn’t deliver is a bit like describing the fate of Noor Inayat Khan as “a bad day at work”.

There are good bits, especially at the start. The Doctor trying to rev herself up (“What would you say to the others if they were here?”) is sweet and also quite Moffat-y. The bit with the messages from the future is great – the special “in case of emergency” leaflet, with cartoon Ryan, is *brilliant*. 

The 19th century science fair bit is funny at first, and the Master’s genuinely unhinged intervention is one of the scariest moments for the character: this is a version of the Master who genuinely wants the Doctor and his friends dead. Meanwhile, Barton shoves the fam into an episode of Hunted, in which the public as usual are a bunch of bootlicking fash.

So, all that’s good. Against that, though, we have:

• “Masquerading as a German soldier. That’s a low, even for him” – is it as low as gleefully breaking his perception filter so that the Nazis can racially abuse him, though, really?

• The “girl power!” bit would be less annoying if Ada/Noor did anything to show why their real life counterparts were amazing. As it is, we just get the Doctor announcing it.

• Barton’s plot is... insane? There’s a gleeful cruelty to it, to match the Master’s miniaturising passers-by... but what is Barton getting out of wiping out the human race? Or killing his own mother?

• No matter because the Doctor wins off screen and then explains it. Hmmm. Then the Doctor erases Noor’s mind and leaves her to her fate, then does the same for Ada as she *literally begs her not to*.

• And then it ends by setting up a really boring mystery. Why destroy Gallifrey again? Is it a panicked “Quick, pretend you’re RTD” reaction? 

It’s sort of annoying because part one, incoherent as it was, felt like maybe Chibnall was getting the hang of making exciting television. But the guy can’t tell stories.

 Other things:

• Whitaker’s “Previously on Doctor Who” on the recap sounds weirdly rushed, like they messed up the editing. 

• I know Chibnall didn’t invent this (again, he’s stealing from RTD), but... I do like the way the theme tune has been repurposed as the rhythm of two hearts.

• He does seem to be under the impression Logopolis takes place at Jodrell Bank rather than a fictionalised Jodrell Bank, though.

• The “Kasaavin are embedded across the whole of this universe, spies from another dimension” bit makes it sound like maybe this plot was meant to last more than another 20 minutes after this line is spoken?

• The fact the Master has had to live through 77 years of shitty human history to get back to the plot is quite funny, in a “this literally happens in The Curse of Fatal Death” way.

• Lastly, the Master says... “Everything we were told was a lie, we are not who we think, you or I” – I’m not sure this fits with what we eventually find out at the end of the season? I dunno, maybe I’m looking for interest where none lies.