12.5: Time Heist
In which Doctor Who finally gets around to that Hustle parody, a mere two years too late.
Broadcast: September 2014
Watched: March 2022
“Your account will now be deleted, and obviously your mind.”
As with Steve Thompson’s previous effort [he wrote Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS] I seem to remember people hating this but… I quite enjoy it? Okay, it’s a bit weird to do a parody of Hustle two years after the show finished, but always nice to see Who doing new genres (the only previous attempt at a heist story I can think of is an Eddie Robson Big Finish audio).
And it’s very stylish. I like the little design touches, like the bomb mirroring the teller, or the way the intro with the spinning vortex turns out to be the Doctor looking into a washing machine. I love the way it seems like calling it “Time Heist” is a load of nonsense, until it turns out that The Architect – whose identity is, admittedly, obvious – is from the future.
On the other side of the ledger, it’s quite linear. The team feels very small, both guests are “dead” by minute 27, and anyway I’m not sure the actors are up to it: Psi’s lost memories speech maybe lacks the power it’s supposed to have. Also, considering we’re told this is the bank you use if you own a solar system, it’s really not very glam. Hilarious that they get away with basically one tunnel set redressed with differently coloured lights.
They’re still playing with the idea of the Doctor as uncaring, detached and results focused – the thought occurs that you need Listen in there, just to stop him just seeming like an utter prick – but it’s quite sweet that the twist turns out to be that the whole mission is actually about saving the security guard/monster thing and his wife. I’m not entirely sure the memory wipe thing makes sense, but it’s nice that they finally acknowledge there’s something sinister about the memory worms.
Probably the best thing about this one, though, is the random scene of the heist team eating a Chinese takeaway and laughing at the end. A sort of antidote to all those stories where the Doctor just walks off at the end.
Other things:
“I was hoping for minimalism, but I think I came up with magician.”
The Teller is hideous; ditto the effect of the head literally caving in. The idea people survive this is even worse. And why doesn’t he destroy the goodies the moment he gets near them? He can’t know they’re here to save him because they don’t know that yet.
Second Moffat co-write of the season, Caretaker is another – why? [He seems to have reached the RTD specials year “sick of not getting royalties on scripts he basically wrote” point roughly on schedule.]
The way the guest stars describe themselves as augmented/mutant humans is a bit odd – only makes sense if you assume it’s a sort of ID thing?
Keeley Hawes is basically doing Sarah Lancashire or Celia Imrie – the glamorous female villain in a suit is very much a type of part now. (The first is arguably Robot?) The idea she’s burning her own clones is clearly nicked from a movie I’m not going to name.
“No entry under any circumstances” is a very funny thing to write above a vent.
Particularly good Clara outfit this week.