12.36: The Eaters of Light

In which we go beyond the wall.

Broadcast: June 2017

Watched: May 2022

“Death by Scotland.” 

This is VERY Scottish - the landscape, the lost celtic past, a land of monsters, too strong or too savage for the Romans to cope with. Even Nardole’s claim that he’s the only one who knows where in the TARDIS the tea cakes are. It feels, in a way that’s kind of unexpected from the writer of Survival [the last story of the original run in 1989], quite retro in vibe: with its monsters menacing standing stones and its gateway into other worlds, it feels more like ‘70s Who, or perhaps from some half remembered ‘80s CBBC stuff.

It sort of scratches around ideas of bravery, and the line between civilisation and savagery... but I’m not sure it quite coheres. Maybe the light-eating monsters are about war and savagery? Or maybe I’m looking for meaning when actually it’s about atmosphere and mood rather than a story with a thesis, and on that basis it’s great: the use of music and the design (the tribal makeup, the monsters) are all beautiful.

The Doctor’s attempted self-sacrifice feels like it’s doing what dozens of other stories do, but it works because it isn’t just about plugging a convenient extra into the maguffin to bring things to a close: the legion and the Picts really do make a compelling argument that it’s their fight, to atone for their cowardice or the damage they’ve done.

The final twist - that the talking crows (transparently nicked from Game of Thrones) aren’t sulking with their refusal to speak, they’re just calling out Kar’s name - is oddly beautiful. Okay, writing it down a week or so after watching, it suddenly feels ridiculous, but so does a lot of Doctor Who when viewed in synopsis...

...and then, that isn’t the final twist after all - the episode ends weirdly early, because there’s a long scene with Missy, who the Doctor has trapped in the TARDIS to, er, watch the Doctor Who story we’ve just seen. I wonder if Munro has seen the Scream of the Shalka? [Attempted 2003 cartoon reboot, starring Richard E. Grant as the Doctor, Sophie Okenedo as his companion and Derek Jacobi as a TARDIS-bound robot Master. Don’t worry, we’ll be coming to that.]

Other things:

• The Doctor claims to have been a governor and a vestal virgin. Cool.

• I love that they never explain why Nardole is wearing a dressing gown, or why he’s carrying popcorn. That the Doctor uses it to escape is brilliant.

• Kar’s speech about the Romans (“They make a desert and they call it peace”) is nicked from Tacitus.

• How on earth did Bill get this far into the season without noticing the TARDIS translator?

• The “inter dimensional temporal rift”, where you can be for a few seconds only two days pass in the real world, feels like it prefigures the finale.

• The bit where Bill awkwardly explains to a Roman that she’s gay, and he thinks it’s quaint she isn’t bi like most normal people, is absolutely *brilliant*.

• The 9th Legion was a real thing! Although there’s some argument about whether or not they went missing in Scotland or indeed at all. This story seems to conflate campaigns in the north of England in the 80s AD with a bunch of Scottish myths. 

• I’ve only just realised: that’s two historicals back to back. I was going to say “how often does that happen” but I’m fairly sure I asked that exact question before at some point. (Talons/Fang Rock? Visitation/Black Orchid? Is there a modern one?)