12.14: The Magician’s Apprentice
In which the plot-blocking is magnificent.
Firstly, a couple of minisodes, starting with the season 9 prologue which is on iPlayer for some reason... Oh look it’s wotsit from Karn again. She and the Doctor have a conversation about whether or not he’s going to see an old enemy who’s asked to see him, he lies, gives her the confession dial, walks off. God knows why this is on iPlayer.
Next up, The Doctor’s Meditation, which I only watched because I was annoyed that the first one was on iPlayer and this wasn’t. Extended sketch but less funny than most normal Moffat episodes. I think it was cut from the episode? Which is ridiculous because it obviously shouldn’t be in the episode, it’s baffling they considered including it. The show really did get a bit mad with offcuts and so on in this period didn’t it?
Does lead directly into the episode, mind, even though it happens later. Weird. Anyway, let’s get on with it:
Broadcast: September 2015
Watched: March 2022
“Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the President’s wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie. Can you guess which one?”
It’s weird how those minisodes are both quite underpowered, because the actual episode has one of the best beginnings of anything ever. The soldiers, firing arrows at bi-planes! The soldier staying absolutely cool as he tries to help the kid, then getting swallowed by the earth! The handmines! Capaldi is incredible in it – “Tell me the name of the boy who isn’t going to die today” is a genuinely haunting line reading – and the scene even features that rarest of things, a decent child actor (“Davros! My name is Davros!”). God it’s great, one of the best single scenes in the entire series.
Moffat said at the time that he wanted to start with a finale, and you can really feel that: after that opening on Skaro, we get colony Sarff, all the aliens in the the Maldovarium (no Dorium, though), a Shadow Proclamation that looks a lot better than it did in 2008, Karn, *and* UNIT.
The funny thing is, though, this episode is almost entirely plot blocking. The whole planes-have-stopped thing is only there to get us to Missy, so that she can get us to the Doctor. The episode is two-thirds done before the regulars are together and on their way to the Daleks, where the actual story happens; the Doctor meets Davros at minute 36.
But it’s such magnificent, high octane bullshit that it doesn’t matter. Even if the party scene is a bit cringey, and goes on too long, all the business does a great job of making you forget there’s a weird snake man looking for the Doctor until he shows up again. And the way everyone freaks out does a really good job of selling the idea that “This invisible planet is Skaro!” is a big raising of the stakes, in a way “Oh, Skaro again” never was before. Nice to see so many different Daleks about, too.
And then Missy tries to betray the Doctor to the Daleks, there’s a surprise. (The fact she’s exterminated *is* a bit of a surprise, mind, even if we know she’s not.) And then the ending is the Doctor apparently exterminating baby Davros, doing the Doctor Who equivalent of going back in time and killing Hitler. Bloody hell.
For an episode in which almost nothing happens this is amazing.
Other things:
The high concept for the last finale (two episodes ago!) was Missy and Cybermen. This time it’s Missy and Davros and Daleks. Moffat working through his bucket list because he thinks this is his last run, I assume.
Jaye Griffiths is very obviously only there in the UNIT scenes to give us someone to kill off in episode 7.
“See that couple over there? You’re the puppy.”
“And three possible versions of Atlantis”. Nice. [For any new series-only fans reading: the original series gives us three irreconcilable destructions of Atlantis, in The Underwater Menace, The Daemons and The Time Monster.]
The Doctor riding a tank and playing the theme tune on an electric guitar. Awesome.
I absolutely LOVE that Colony Sarff is not only an actual colony, but a democratically governed one.
The idiot from The Doctor’s Meditations turns out to be a Dalek agent. This makes no sense, and is clearly only there so someone can forward the TARDIS to Skaro, to allow the cool blowing-up-the-TARDIS scene/ensure an escape route in episode 2.
The moment where it looks like they’re not featuring Colin in the clips of past Doctors, because they do them out of order, is hilarious. I wonder if that’s deliberate.