11.17: The Curse of the Black Spot
In which pirates have an unexciting adventure, with aliens.
Broadcast: May 2011
Watched: December 2021
I think this might be the worst Moffat era episode so far. It’s just so dull – so much so I’d completely forgotten the almost interesting stuff about a world beyond the mirror. The Doctor keeps being wrong just to fill the screen time. (The idea of water as a door is cool, but then it turns out it’s because it’s a mirror; the Doctor immediately changes his mind on how dangerous the siren is; etc.)
At the end there’s some more Rory-in-peril stuff which a) has entirely lost impact because he’s already died three times by now; and b) the Doctor just watches like a lemon while Amy fails to save her husband, not even helping when she gives up.
The pirates... this is peak Downton, who on Earth decided that Hugh Bonneville was good casting for a pirate? Nice to see Kenny from Press Gang again but the way he just disappears is incredibly sloppy. [Press Gang was the kids’-but-not-really show about a school newspaper on which Moffat made his name. It’s brilliant. Seek it out.]
Oh god I dunno there must be some nice things to say. I like the Siren’s song. The cowardly pirates scared about a little scratch are funny. “Toby!” “Rory!” “The TARDIS!” The pirates flying on into space. Is the sick bay a deliberate reminder of Ulysses 31? [Another kids’ show, that bloody haunts me to this day.]
But trying to make it a story about father/son pride is extremely weird. Especially given what a bloodthirsty little sh*t Toby is, stabbing poor Kenny. And they never explain why the alien ship is there. Or maybe they do. It’s so dull, how would we know?
And to think it's only the second-worst pirate-themed episode of Who.
The first time I ever fell asleep during Doctor Who. Only to wake up with the plot at the same point where I'd left (all I'd missed was the pirates running from one end of the ship to the other and back again).
I'm still a bit angry about the pirate slipping in 'bilge water' in a *rowing boat*. It seems the script got all the way to transmission without anyone knowing what bilge actually means.
I'm not saying this story is bilge.